Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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