on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
