awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
