hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
