ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
