...so i touched it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
