She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Drake has all the answers
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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