she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Semen is not good for contacts.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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