I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
