I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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