ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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