I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
