Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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