The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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