i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
