And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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