At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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