I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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