dude i'm inner monologue high
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
