just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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