A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
