So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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