Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize