Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
