I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
