how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
