i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
