The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
