i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
