awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
