she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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