well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
