Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
