i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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