I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
