Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
