Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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