so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
