You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
