he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
