But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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