I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hell yes lets make some ravioli
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
