new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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