you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Do you still have your period?
I am midnight drunk by noon
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
