ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
