yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I would fuck him just for his dog
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
