they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
