i jhust puked up my retainher.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
