Having a random hookup so left but love u
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
