Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
