I'm drive I can fine osifer
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
