Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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