I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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