My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize