My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
