I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
