I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
