Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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