he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
this hospital has no fireball
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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