I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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