i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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