dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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