Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
