Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
