i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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