I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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