Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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