Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize