i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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