People in love make me want to vomit
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Barsexuality is the new black.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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